I cannot believe that my little man is ten months old! It seems to be flying by sometimes and others I feel like life is moving in such a slow motion. Being a mom has been ( I know everybody says it) the most challenging and rewarding thing I have ever done. Although until this past week it was really feeling JUST challenging. Damian has been really struggling with separation anxiety, but only at home. He was fine to leave to go to my mother in law's house or to class at church. BUT if Josiah or I were in the room, we were the only option, he wouldn't play, sleep or eat without us right by his side. 

My doctor advised trying to spend more one on one time with him as our schedules are so inconsistent. I had a few events over Easter Long Weekend, but throughout the past week I just hung out with him, slept in, played under the covers and went for walks. His behaviour has made such a big turn around. No more tantrums (or at least not so extreme), he has napped on his own in his crib and has been playing on his own for a bit in the mornings. 

As relieving as it is that he is feeling so secure with me around more, its also disheartening knowing that our weeks can't always look like that. I co-own a business and it keeps me busy. Its been so heart breaking trying to decide what I am going to do with my life, when Damian has shown that what he needs is his mama. I was contemplating going back to work in September as well as running my business to alleviate some of my husband's stress, but alas, I am now unsure AGAIN of what to do. And then I am reminded that God has plans for us, that He knows what is next for me and that all I need to do is pray. That is all I can do. 

What was your experience going back to work or why did you make a last minute decision to stay home? I'd love to hear what other mama's experiences were! 

Raelene John1 Comment