Oh my dear, my heart and soul have been discovering so many new faucets of what it means to live life to its fullest. Since deciding to stay home with Damian full time I have really had to learn how to do life different. At first I was not sure what to do with my days. Was just being home snuggling, walking to the park and arguing with my nearly one year old over food what my day was suppose to look like? I struggled with a sense of unimportance, until I realized that these moments were the ones God called me to. God called me to cuddle him as I whisper why I love him, why I think he is the best human in all of the world. God called me to the moments of frustration and tears because he is throwing everything on the ground and screaming so that I can learn how to discipline him out of love and show him unconditional love. God has called me to walks in the park to show Damian God's creation, to teach him how to play with other children and socialize so that one day he can be confident in how he interacts with others. God has called me to all these little moments that I didn't know I needed, that I didn't know Damian needed. SO many of these little moments are just normal moments, nothing spectacular, nothing "blog worthy" really, they are just our day to day activities that has sparked a passion for motherhood that I didn't really have before.

As I have mentioned before in my post about contentment I have really struggled and been unsure about how to balance everything and how to be okay with life looking different that I thought. But as I embrace motherhood as an honour instead of a job, I am learning to slow down our lives. I don't miss running from meeting to meeting and having my phone go off all day. Now I love the silent moments. I love not having a plan for the day except a walk to the park and trying to get him to eat more than raspberries for lunch. I love packing up our car and driving to Kelowna to visit family because we have the time and the freedom. 

I used to fill our days with activities, appointments and dinner dates. All things that are fantastic and great, but with Damian being so young and basically being a sponge to the world around him, slowing things down so that he can pick at the grass and rub his feet through the sand is what we need right now. I know a time will come when he is in soccer, swimming and dance and I'll be chauffeuring him and his friends around. And I'm excited for the stage because I remember those busy days as a kid going from thing to thing. BUT what we're doing right now, is remembering to slow down, cuddle and have a nap together, leave the clean laundry in the hamper and take in all the moments I can with him.

What I have really learned through this life change is to learn to live a lot slower, with more intention and less pressure. Our life might look more mundane that it used to, but I'm happy to be living a lot slower and enjoying all these precious moments with Josiah and Damian. 


Raelene JohnComment