ALL MY WORRIES

IMG_4361.jpg

I’m anxious guys. As the date of my c-section comes closer and closer, I feel the excitement of a new baby fade and become covered in feelings of anxiousness. Knowing that our whole world is going to be turned upside down.

I feel like it was different with our first, we only had to think about one child, giving Damian all the attention, all the love, napping when he napped & only worrying about feeding one human. Not to mention that Josiah took almost 3 months off with Damian. This time around i have way more worries & concerns. I think its normal. But I also think that its weird to say that I’m more anxious than excited.

IMG_4355.jpg

I thought I’d share all my worries to say if you’re feeling this way too, you’re not alone. Its okay to be anxious & worried & fearful. Just know that these kids were made for you and I’m told we’ll be okay.

I’m worried that Damian will feel ignored, that even with the amazing community we have who I know will work hard to make sure he feels loved, that he’ll hate me for not spending all my time with me.

I’m worried that Demetrius won’t take to the boob just like Damian & I remember the time it took to pump and clean the pump & all those bottles. (and yes, I know I can formula feed. But we have some history of allergies over here that make formula difficult & very expensive).

I’m worried that it’ll be five years before Josiah and I actually get a moment to stop and breathe together.

I’m worried that Damian’s schedule and diet for his behaviour plan will go out the window because of exhaustion and in turn his behaviour will regress.

I’m worried about how the heck to give all my attention to two humans when I feel depleted most days just with one.

I’m worried about to stay healthy and have time for self care for myself & Josiah.

I’m worried that Damian & Demetrius won’t be best friends & our cute little vision of their relationship will never come to be.


Pictures by @lifeaswifeandmom

Raelene John1 Comment